Don’t Tell
It has been reported quite extensively lately that Doctors are reluctant to tell patients they
have Alzheimer’s. That is, many of them simply don’t tell.
Not telling leaves the patient and family stumbling from crisis to crisis, in the dark, doubtful, anxious…
People can say they ‘suspected’ Alzheimer’s from general knowledge, etc., and panic; or try to get on with their lives; or investigate…as in: Some would study the disease; some would be angry. Some would insist the Doctor at least talk about it; is it possible?
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He Said, She Said –Don’t Tell
She said So whaddya (really) think, Doc?
Doc said We’ll monitor the situation
She said You mean, like, wait for it to get worse? As in, wait for the symptoms to be so advance we can’t do anything about it?
Doc said It’s too early to say
She said It’s never to early, Doc. I need to know. I need to know what to do
Doc said It could be anything. Memory loss is just a part of life.
She said But this is se-eerious Doc
Doc said Memory loss is definitely part of aging
She said Doc, I don’t call 58 aged
Doc said No, no, of course not
She said You said it could be anything. Could it be a brain tumor? Of course, that’s what it is. I’ve got a brain tumor
Doc said No,no. Relax. You don’t have a brain tumor
She said How can you be so sure? You didn’t test me for that, did you?
Doc said Brain tumors are entirely a different thing
She said But Doc, I get these serious headaches.
Doc said That would be the stress. You’re stressing yourself out. I can give you some relaxation exercises to ease that
She said DOC.
Doc said There are tests for that
She said But Doc, it affects my eyesight
Doc said Mmmm. Yes.
She said What?
Doc said That could be a symptom of diabetes—
She said DOC! My god!
Doc said Look, that is exactly why – apart from the fact that diagnosis isn’t exactly an exact science in such cases – your reaction is one reason I don’t want to give you a specific diagnosis. Your memory might be failing—
She said Of course it is. I mean, like I couldn’t remember the name of that drug you gave me that pneu- fru- you know the one
Doc said That is normal. You might be tired, or distracted—
She said Oh, I’m distracted all right
Doc But you mustn’t obsess
She said Oh I’ll obsess okay. I you don’t tell me the truth I’ll do nothing but obsess
Doc said I’m sorry, Missus, there just isn’t a definitive test to prove early…onset…
She said You can’t even say it, can you Doc?
Doc said Well, there are tests that could rule it out
She said AHA! So?
Doc said Well, there is that three-word test
She said What three-word test?
Doc said The one I gave you earlier
She said Oh, you mean the table, the pen and the…the..
Doc said Ah.
She said Apple. The third word was apple.
Doc said Well there you are then.
She said Where am I? Did I pass?
Doc said Y-yes…but…
She said But what? But what Doc?
Doc said Missus, I inadvertently gave you a hint at the third word
She said What was that then?
Doc said Just now. When you gave me two words and stopped
She said I don’t remember what you said
Doc said I said Ah
She said Ah? You said Ah?
Doc said Yes. I said Ah, and you said apple. So you see, not so serious after all
She said So? What IS your diagnosis?
Doc said Missus, look, diagnosis is largely based on an individual doctor’s clinical assessment. That is to say, his professional judgment
She said Well that wasn’t so hard, was it?
Doc said But it was. What I might tell you could seriously affect your life
She said It will seriously affect my life anyway. It already has. I’m missing appointments, I can’t find my keys, I even got lost driving home. And that was on the route to…to ummm…you know, where I drive every day
Doc said Okay, look, like I said, not an exact science, but let’s say, for example, you do have some of the symptoms of early onset, study the (disease), exercise, keep your brain active, and come back in three months. Okay?
She said Whew! Well! Wow! Okay…
Doc said I know it’s hard. I hate giving “that” diagnosis
She said I hate hearing it
Doc said So sorry
She said So what do I do now?
Doc said Since you’re convinced you have it, why don’t you pick up some brochures in the waiting room. They’ll tell you how to get in toch with your local society. Talk to them about it. And try not to worry so much Missus. You’ll get yourself an ulcer
She said Oh boy. That’s all I need
Doc said See the receptionist. She’ll make an appointment for you. Three months.
She said Yes Doc
Doc said You’re trembling. Let me give you a hand
She said I’m fine
Doc said Do you have somebody to drive you home?
She said I’ll be fine Doc. Thanks.
Doc said I’m sure you will be. And if it is…that…well, you were right to catch it early. It will give you time to prepare. And I’m sure you have many healthy and productive years yet. You’re still young
She said Sure Doc. Whew. Just a sec…while…I catch…my breath…
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Whether you, or a Loved One, are at the beginning stages or anywhere between there and the most serious stages of Alzheimer’s, there is help out there.
Some very good sources are:
www.alzheimer.ca/
This Canadian site is based in Toronto.
There are Alzheimer’s associations in every province. Don’t hesitate to visit these sites.
In fact, listed on this site is an article delineating the differences between memory loss from aging and from dementia and Alzheimer’s, the primary or most common form of dementia.
Here is one site that charts the main differences between aging memory loss and Dementia memory loss:
http://www.alzheimer.ca/en/About-dementia/What-is-dementia/Normal-aging-vs-dementia
https://www.alz.org/
Based in the U.S., this is a comprehensive website with endless information and assistance sources. I get their newsletter with invaluable information every week.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/
This site based in England, I have found, is an invaluable source of information. In fact, it was here that I read an article about why doctors are reluctant to diagnose Alzheimer’s – and which led to today’s blog “Don’t Tell.”
The important thing is to avoid trying to cope alone. You don’t have to and you shouldn’t. There are friends out here to share your burden.
And please don’t underestimate the value of a support group. Mine has been an invaluable source of strength and inspiration.
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Cartoons are from ClipArt
