He Said, She Said
Over Time
1.
He said What’s this?
She said Which one?
He said This one, the the three-leaf clover one with the dark red leaves and the tiny blue flowers?
She said, That’s an oxalis triangularis
He said Really?
She said Really. It belongs to the kingdom of Plantae
He said Well it would, wouldn’t it?
She said It belongs to the Order of Oxalidales
He said Hmm. Sounds like a salad
She said Now don’t be like that. You’ll insult its family
He said Oh , it has a family too does it?
She said Of course. The Family Oxalidaceae
He said Now why does that not surprise me?
She said And—
He said There’s another and?
She said Its genus is Oxalis
He said And your genius is that you know all that. And remember it.
She said You can call it a Purple Shamrock
He said Yeah? Well I see three triangular leaves and they look like butterflies
She said Fine, have it your way. Call it a Butterfly Plant
He said Okay. I will
She said You’re being silly
He said Part of my charm
She said If you’re not going to help…
He said I shoulda known
She said Here, make yourself useful
He said What is this?
She said It’s a trowel. You dig with it
He said What shall I dig, dear Liza, dear Liza
She said Dig me a hole Dear Harry, Dear Harry, dig me a hole
He said Like this then? Dig, dig, dig
She said That’s deep enough. Now I put the “Butterfly Plant” into the hole…
2.
She said Hand me that—that one there
He said this one?
She said No, the one with the dark red petals and the tiny blue flowers
He said You mean the purple leaves?
She said Yes, yes. That one.
He said The Butterfly Plant
She said What? Yes
He said I forget its real name
She said It’s the— the— you know, the one that sounds like an ox
He said Oh, yes, oxalis
She said Yes
He said I thought you were calling me an ox
She said You said it!
He said I ought to have known
She said Now, where was I going to put it?
3.
He said Hey Love, isn’t it time to water the plants?
She said I don’t know
He said But they’ll die without water, and you’re so fond of your flowers
She said You water them then
He said O-kaaay, but you know my thumb…
She said Oh go on. It’s an easy plant to look after. Even for you.
He said You mean you’ll trust me with your plants? Even after you left me to weed your garden that time and, me not knowing my plants, I pulled out all the flowers and left the weeds ’cause they looked prettier to me?
She said No weeds here
He said Okay, but I don’t know which ones need a lot of water and which ones just need drinks
She said…nothing
He said Oh Honey, don’t cry. I’ll figure it out. Over time. It’s okay. 
4.
He said Honey, you left the marge out. …Not answering today, the marge?…Shall I put it away for you? Yes? No? Okay, I’ll just do that. There, lid’s on…er, now I burp it? Right? Right. Listen, there it goes. Berrrrrp! Okay? Now, open the fridge door, pop it in, slam the door, Bang! What? No response? Hmm. Don’t know if I can stand the sound of my own voice all day.
5.
He said Honey, how do I prune this plant, what do you call it? See? his one, the one with the dark red— sorry, purple petals and the tiny blue flowers. It’s going wild chasing the light. See?
He said Shall I just do the best I can, then? Okay. Treat it like a Bonsai. Snip here. Snip. A little snip there. Snip. Okay. Hey, Honey, how does this look? Don’t want to look?
He said Just teasing. I remember now, you don’t cut back an oxalis triangularis. You just pluck the dead stems. Right? Okay. Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure I’m right but I can look it up in one of your books to confirm. Sure, I know how to read. Remember?
How did you like what I read to you yesterday? I think you enjoyed it. Well, until you nodded off, eh? Eh-eh. Must’ve been my boring voice droning on. Guess that would put a whole audience to sleep. Eh-eh. Hey, maybe if I drone on long enough tonight I can drone myself to sleep. Eh? Think I’d get a good night’s sleep then?
He said Well, if you don’t get up and go a-wandering…
He said You know, I liked it better when you talked back. Just sayin’…Well, hey, remember the day we found the oxalis triangularis? Such a romantic day…
He said Well, I guess that’s why they call it the Love Plant. Oh, easy there old girl. There, that’s it. Well, never mind, we’ll figure it all out. Over time.
He said Aw, you’re all uncomfortable again, aren’t you? That’s a sure sign when you start squirming like that. Let me readjust your recliner…change the pressure point on your back. There, how’s that? Oh, I know that look—pressure point in the head now, is it? From me prattling on? I knew it. Ah! There’s that smile. Love your smile…
— —
They say the purple ribbon and the purple forget-me-not stand for Alzheimer’s.
NO they don’t! They stand for THE FIGHT AGAINST Alzheimer’s.
NOTE: this little story about memory loss was largely inspired by a story of a lady whose conversations with her mother turned into monologues as her mother’s Alzheimer’s took hold. I found the story via StoryCorps.org here:
— –Image Credits:
Oxalis picture from http://www.ourhouseplants.com/plants/purple-shamrock
Fighting my hardest: ttp://www.healthyplace.com/insight/quotes/quotes-on-mental-health-and-mental-illness/
Purple Alzheimer’s ribbon: http://webclipart.about.com/od/specialtyclipart/ss/Purple-Awareness-Ribbon.htm?utm_term=purple%20ribbon%20awareness&utm_content=p1-main-1-more&utm_medium=sem&utm_source=msn&utm_campaign=adid-7128bd31-54cd-4593-bdb1-4867914ff7fc-0-ab_msb_ocode-29573&ad=semD&an=msn_s&am=broad&q=purple%20ribbon%20awareness&dqi=&o=29573&l=sem&qsrc=999&askid=7128bd31-54cd-4593-bdb1-4867914ff7fc-0-ab_msb
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Alzheimer’s: Fight for a cure.
Alzheimer’s: Fight to kill.
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Photo by Dixie Allan
