Deaf or What?

 He said, She said

She speaks
No reply
She speaks louder
Repeat
She shouts
He jumps
What?
He thinks it’s an emergency
She says I want to talk to you
He says Well speak up then
She says I am speaking up. You listen up
He says No, it’s not me who’s mumbling
She says I’m not mumbling I’m shouting
He says What are you shouting about for Pete’s sakes?
She says You leave Pete out of it
He says Who’s Pete? Have you been—
She says No, silly, it’s an expression
He says Well why don’t you express yourself then?
She says You need an ear horn
He says What horn? I didn’t hear any horn
She says Oh for…

He says What did you want anyways? You woke me up
She says I didn’t want anything
He says You said you wanted to tell me something
She says I would never tell on you
He says Tell what?
She says I forget

He says Do you forget often?
She says What? No
He says You forgot this
She says What this?
He says This thing you said you forgot
She says I never forgot anything
He says Funny. I remember you saying something
She says Oh for Pete sakes
He says Who’s Pete?
She says Oh for— What has Pete got to do with it?
He says So where the heck is Pete when you need him?
She says I’m going to bed
She leaves
He says Where are you going?
She falters. I forget.
He says Whad’d ya ferget?
She says I didn’t forget nothing. Don’t you forget that

It was weeks later, after their son suggested getting tested, that he had half a pound of wax removed from his ears.

Didn’t help, though.

She was still described as daft as a lily* — and she still laughed with a certain pride. He always felt she actually had one up on him.

Well, I guess he shoulda knowed

*”daft as a lily” — (from Welsh daff-a-down-dilly (daffodil) from Gr 4 story book) )

Credits: Both images are from Clip Art. The deaf illustration is self credited. It is my understanding that the Deaf Club is defunct.
The “Huh?” had no further accreditation that I could find.