A Leek Affair
Someone told me after my reading of The Critic and the Poet that she liked my accent (Shakespearean), and I found myself wanting to write a Welch accent poem. That arises from my Grade 4 class when I read a story about a tramp to the class. I read it with a Welsh accent. The kids loved it. And so comes “A Leek Affair.” Just for fun.
When I was a young in Wales I fell in love, see?
And I courted this pretty girl for months.
And it was getting serious, you know,
So I gave her a leek
That’s the national symbol of Wales, you know.
She never dated me again
Well, a year or so later, I met a new girl
And I courted her for months
And it was getting pretty serious now
So I gave to her an Easter lily,
Because it was Easter, you see.
But she said it was a symbol of death and dyin’
Because, you know, the lily is the flower you give people at funerals.
I didn’t know that at the time, you see.
She never dated me again.
So I gave up on the flowers and the leeks.
And the girls.
But then I met this fine lass from Cardiff.
That’s the national capital of Wales, you know.
So I courted her. For months.
And guess what happened next? You’ll never guess.
SHE gave to ME…a LEEK!
Well I didn’t know what to say
So I just stood there and stared.
“It’s the national symbol of Wales,” she said.
“I know,” I told her.
Well she apologized, the girl did,
You know, for guessing wrong. About the flower.
Well, to me it was a flower, the most beautiful flower I ever saw.
Well I found my voice and I told her,
“No. No, it’s all right, my dear, you see…”
And I told her about me faux pas with a leek.
And how embarrassed I was then.
Well, you see, we just stood there, lookin’ at each other like.
And then we both bust out laughin’.
We laughed and we laughed.
And we laughed all the way
To the altar.
And so, a leek is the best vegetable in our garden.
—
If you are happy with this happy little story, read no further.
They lived a long and satisfying life together. In the end, she contracted Alzheimer’s, the forgetting disease. He tried hard to remind her of their Affair of a Leek, right to the end.
He said:
So when you come to her funeral next week,
You might bring along a leek.
It’s the national symbol of Wales, you see.
You can lay them next to the bouquets
Of Forget-me-nots that I will bring.
For my sweet lass from Cardiff.
Note: This story is entirely fictitious, though “inspired” by personal experience and the experiences of many, many other family care givers
I dedicate it to my lovely Welsh friends David and Anne.
