ELEGY TO THE ART OF LIVING
H. W. Herb W Bryce
The true art of living involves
The ability to beggar your neighbour.
If your neighbour has a treasure that you want,
Have it; he’ll thank you for freeing up the space.
And never send a thank you card fer nuthin’.
It’s insulting – for him; but it’s a thrill for you.
Never celebrate a birthday. He’ll feel left out.
Then celebrate it late, like a dirge. Make sure
You find ways to make him feel old. And
When he asks, give him yer shoulder – cold!
It’s a good idea to insult people in wheelchairs;
They can’t fight back and you’ll enjoy their lack.
That’s the art of living, that’s the way to score.
That’s the art of living that no one knows no more.
It is to create a need then gouge your neighbour.
He will feel the hurt and you will thrill to the core.
Do unto others, yeah, just like you want to—
He’ll deserve it anyhow, sooner or later, so do.
Do covet your neighbours wife, she’s a beauty;
He’ll never know who, and you’ll have the laugh of your life.
And tell all the lies you want; its such fun.
Your neghbour will be so confused, and your job is done.
Yeah, folks don’t know how to do this no more,
And I miss the fun. It’s the lost art of living
It’s the beauty of giving…the shaft to your neighbour,
And life is never having to be forgiving.
Ahh! I miss them good old days when the art of living
Was real living. When you woke up every mornin’ with a new trick in your bag,
Another way to beggar your neighbour, when you laughed till you gagged.
(sigh) Ahhhh, well. Them was the good old days.
Yeah…I miss them days…
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Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay
