Heavy Is My Gut

HEAVY IS MY GUT

 H. W. Bryce

RE: The Covid pandemic co-conspirators

Many have confessed.

Heavy is my gut from all the beer I drunk,

It has given my breath the odour of the skunk,

And loud are my burps from all the gas I made,

And now I rue each buck for all the beer I paid.

So clumsy are my feet from all the trips I take,

And I rue each day for all the trouble that I make.

So now’s the time, I do suppose, to give it all up,

But I’m as trainable now as a drunken pup.

Oh, I have tried, a million times over,

But truth to tell, I am comfy lying in the clover.

Oh, I did the water, I forgot the walk,

I did the studies, I talk the talk,

But those darn calories keep on climbing

And the fat on my gut just keeps on binding.

The sugar in the food, the sugar in the drink

Is keeping me from getting in the pink;

The more I eat, the more I want, it’s true,

I want that healthy look, but the effort turns me blue.

Oh alas, alack, heavy is my gut,

My eating, drinking habits are stuck in a rut,

Do as I will, do as I might, nothing seems right,

Life has gotten heavy, life don’t look so bright.

Show me a pie, I will devour it.

Offer me cake, oops, it’s gone;

Sorry ’bout that, I guess I inhaled.

Ice cream? Hell, it’ll never have a chance to melt,

Potato chips, potato crisps, it’s all the same to me.

Where does it all go? Around my waist where all can see.

Heavy is my gut, heavy is my gut,

My eating habits are stuck in a rut

I’d change it all iffen I could,

God knows that I really should,

But I’m too heavy now to exercise,

Guess bad habits trump advice from the wise.

Heavy is my gut, heavy is my gut,

My eating habits are stuck in a rut.

DAMN!