HELP A NEIGHBOUR
Where has time gone?
It seems like only yesterday we laughed
We played, we made such fun;
We had no cares, no woes, only sun
And Sunny days to bask in the glory
That we created for ourselves—
And romped like jolly little elves.
Help your Neighbour
If you know someone who is now taking care of a Loved One, talk to her, or him, ask if they have help or if they know where to find it. For you know, if they don’t, that they are going to need it.
Refer them to YOUR local Alzheimer’s Society; steer them to a Support Group; lead them to internet help sites, such as:
The Alzheimer’s Society of British Columbia, or, of course, to sites in your area, such as our Family Caregivers of British Columbia.
It is SO hard to get plugged in at first. Everything is so new and somehow threatening; your time is suddenly not yours and you may not know how to cope with the inevitable sting of resentment and guilt, unintended consequences for the suddenly new care giver.
And fatigue. This is a biggy, because you find yourself tied down, inevitably 24-7.
You WILL reach a breaking point. And you will feel like this:
Today we’re melancholy
And don’t know what to do
Our sun has dimmed, the moon has lost its glow,
We’re so busy now
We’re taking care of others not ourselves
And now there’s so much more we need to know
Unless, of course, you have the good sense – and the courage – to seek help; it does take some people a lot of effort to admit they need help and to screw up the courage to fight the sense of embarrassment, and perhaps shame – to call for help.
There IS NO SHAME involved. It is not your fault. It is not her fault, or his. It is a disease, and it affects millions of people, both those with the disease and the many family members, relatives and friends involved.
This we know.
Pass it on.
For suddenly you, as a newby care giver, will wake up to the fact that your life has been taken over, every bit as much as has the life of your Loved One. And you will ask yourself:
Where has the time gone to?
It seems like only yesterday we laughed
We played, we made such fun;
We had no cares, no woes, only sun
And Sunny days to bask in the glory
That we created for ourselves—
And romped like jolly little elves.
Remember, knowledge is one key to ability. The more you know about the disease, and the more you share with others, be it with a Support Group, a doctor, nurse, or if you are just reading up on the disease, the better able you will be to cope.
It really does relieve a lot of the stress.
You may think you know a lot after a while, but pretty much always there is more to learn, better ways to deal with it all, better ways to help your Loved One.
But don’t ever get discouraged.
As you learn, you will grow as a person.
You will be stronger.
There are many stages now we must to go through
And each one has a challenge with a challenge new.
But you learn to cope, you carry hope,
And after a while you dope it all out
But where has the time all gone?
What happened while I wasn’t looking there
But here, where I was needed?
Who stole that time?
Where can I get it back?
How do I turn the clock back to then
When we would laugh?
Back to the times we made such fun
When time was ours.
Oh where has the time all gone?
But wait. There is more to come.
There are ways to conquer cope
And rise to mastering adverse anti-hope:
Take charge, control the time you have,
Be sure to claim the void and loud proclaim
“This time is mine!!”
And thereby beat that evil thief of time.
–If you are further along in the process and can relate to this, please give me a buzz at
Meanwhile, here are a few links.
In B.C., try these resources:
www.alzheimerbc.org/ -the Alzheimer’s Society of British Columbia
www.alzheimer.ca/ -for resources about Dementia, which includes Alzheimer’s
http://www.alzheimer.ca/en/bc/We-can-help/Support-groups/Family-caregiver-support-groups -to learn about and to find support groups
An internet search will turn up many potential help and educational sites.
—
