A Romantic Spill – Romance in a Care Home

Spilled_Milk_png_--_2015-09-25_1205

A Romantic Spill

Finding Romance in a Care Home

She’s a romantic and always has been;
To kiss and canoodle was one of her joys,
She’d chase him around and around the old house
Till he kissed her and gave her a cuddle–
Much to the glee of their three little boys boys

Well
It was treat time at that time of the day
In the Home where she is wheelchaired all day,
Time for her snack and a wee drink of juice–
Only the thick kind to keep swallowing loose,
Elsewise it would be the devil to pay.

It was then that he came, the time to embrace,
She gave him that look and he knew that look well,
She wanted a kiss and she wanted it now–
He leaned over to her, and she puckered right up,
She’d have her sweet kiss, she’d have it somehow!

How romantic, said the people passing by;
Some others blushed and still some others there
Taunted, Get a room you two, or, Go away.
But the couple kissed each other anyway.

Well the glass in her hand then tilted aside
And slipped from her grip as she reached for his face,
The glass upsided itself in the gap
The juice treakled out and painted her lap,Splat! -- jpg -- Capture
It even dripped down and oozed over his shoe–
The shoe then of course was no longer new.

Tut-tut said the nurse, what have you just done?
Whatever, he said, I think we’ve just won.
And she in the chair just smiled and smiled on.
Stand back and I’ll get that, said the nurse with a trill.
You’ll have to admit, said he with a wink,
Whatever it was, ’twas a romantic wee spill.

— —

A quite embarrassing but really romantic little true story.

Just goes to show that romance never leaves the soul.

Not even under the influence of Alzheimer’s/Dementia.

— —

Illustrations from Word Clip Art

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A Hard Time with Alzheimer’s – Dementia

A Hard Time indeed with Alzheimer’s Dementia

Inspired by dementia poster on hard time with Alzheimer’s Dementia

He Said, She Said — 5

She was wanting something
He was having a hard time translating

She said The mmm thingies…
He said You mean the slats (in the Venetian blinds) are crooked
She said Yes!
He said Well, yes, I told you, half of them are broken
She said Yes. I want mmm…c-c…
He said Curtains?
She said Yes
He said I know. You’ve told me thirty thousand times
She said Don’t be rude

He said Well don’t give me such a hard time about it
She said You said…
He said Yes, yes
She said Oh You!
She storms off.

He said Damn me! It’s like she has Alzheimer’s or…or Dementia or something. But why does she have to  give me such a hard time about it? Over and over

Another day
He’s doing the dishes. She’s wandering about looking lost.

He said Why don’t you come and help me? You can dry the dishes
She said What’s that?

He said Here, I’ll show you
She said Okay

She takes the tea towel he offers, and just stands there
He grabs a tea towel and a plate and demonstrates

She said Oh. Okay.
He said Okay, here, you dry one

She looks at the pile of washed dishes

He said Here, dry this one
She said Okay

She places the dish upside down on the counter
and wipes at the bottom.

He said No, no. Like this.

He tries to manoeuvre her hands to take the plate

He said Like this
She said I don’t want to
He said Well hell. Ya gotta give me a hard time, don’t ya?
She looks like she’s gonna cry
He said Okay, okay. It’s all right. Here, do the cutlery.
He demonstrates.
She takes a fork and wipes at it, perfunctorily,
Then she just stands there
He said Now you file it away.
She places the fork in with the teaspoons.
He said No, no, dear. With the forks. With the forks. Here, see?

She puts the fork in with the knives.
He plucks it out again

He said Here, try again
She just stands there, staring at the fork

He sighs He takes a deep breath, ready to explode

He said Why do you have to give me such a hard time?
She looks at him, pale and quivering

She said I don’t know what to do

He said Omigod!

She went to bed
He went to his computer
This is what he found:

Hard_Time_Poster_--_2015-09-23_1055 (2)SOUTH  AFRICA

He said OH! So who is having the hard time now?

He went to apologize.

Thanks for visiting https://hwbrycewrites.com/my blog

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Memories

Memories,_love_and_butterfly_image_--_2015-09-21_1136 (2)For Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients, memories are especially important. They are precious treasures. Don’t let them be lost. Share them often. You are their keepers.

As I thought about this, I wrote this piece as a poem. It might be a little rough, perhaps a little raw around the edges; it might stutter a little. But then, memories can be like that. Hold on to them. Your Alzheimer’s or Dementia stricken loved one needs them.

 

My Memory of You

Little girl running through tall grass,
Little girl laughing, leaping, laughing,
Feeling so exuberant with life,
A smile upon your face…
My memory of you.

School girl trying to be good,
So much spirit to hold still,
Chided by the Mother Nun
Trying to teach proper speech,
Little “foreign” girl defiant,
You smile because the both of you had won…
My memory of you.

Older girl, sitting in a tree,
Holding breath while “mean” mother called,
Finding book more precious than another needless chore,
And your little dog, he never gave away your spot,
As you give away the pain of yet another thing that you abhor…
Determined look in mem’ry’s eye…
My memory of you.

Young lady talking to a soldier,
So amazed and awed at adult life,
Then learning nuts and bolts of working world,
Like how to type and do shorthand notes
And taking on your first job,
And learning to be brave.
You confidently smile…
My memory of you.

Mem’ries, golden moments in your time.
Mem’ries, things that made you be so fine.
Mem’ries, of things that make you strong.
Memories, your building blocks that last so long.

Magic in the moment that we met.
We looked and we knew we knew each other
And we knew our lives as we had know them
Could never be the same again.
Magic moments of your memory…
These are my memories of you

I thank you for that magicMy_memory_of_you_--_2015-09-21_1104
That you brought into my life;
I won’t remember silly fights
’Cause our love was ever only one,
A simple case of equal rights.
You smile…
At my memories of you

These are my memories of you
As you told them all to me.
These are your golden moments
For me to keep forever true.

My memories of you.

— —

PS: I do believe that all clip art that came free
with Word is free to use. The sketch of Ann
was made by a street artist in July, 1984,
in Vancouver, B.C., Canada.

— —

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Charisma and me

Love image -- Capture

How Charisma Changed My Poem

I literally stumbled into “How to be Charismatic” on LinkedIn Pulse – by clicking before the page finished loading. The little article is by Bruce Kasanoff, Ghostwriter. He writes:

“Charisma is the elixer that few understand.”

He quotes a definition from Google:

1. Charisma is “…compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.”

At this point, my mind leaped to my poem “Something About Her.”
And I noted, Ann has that.

Kasanoff goes on with Google’s definition of Charisma:

“2. a divinely conferred power or talent.”

Well, in my poem Something About Her I channelled that power, initially for the sake of a rhyme because it expressed my love for and admiration of my wife. The verse started and ended like this:

“The people all love her, her family dotes,…

… There’s something about her that’s almost divine.”

Well immediately upon reading that to my support group, I realized that that was a bit over the top. Nobody is that perfect. And I apologized for that snippet of purple prose.

So I went home and revised that last line. Now it reads:

“There’s just something about her that makes you feel fine.”

And the proof is in the pudding, as they say. People ARE attracted to my wife. People DO smile at her when they see her. People DO stop and hug her and talk to her. People DO rescue her if her glasses have been knocked crooked, or if she’s had a spill.

Because my wife has that innate, indefinable charisma.

And because, people ARE good.
People, too, are charismatic. Simply people.
That is something to celebrate.

Here is some of my poem:
Hugs -- Capture

Something About Her ©H. W. Bryce 2013

She lives in a wheelchair and can’t even speak
And nothing in life can be seen to be fair,
But something about her makes your interest peak,
For she draws you right in and you want to be there. …

…It could be her eyes or her winsome, sweet smile;
Could be she looks wise–or her absence of guile.
Whatever it be, it’s pure love that you see.
It’s useless to fight it, you’re locked in for the while.

The people all love her, her family dotes,
If a contest were held, she’d win all the votes.
You have to surrender to… something you cannot define;
There’s just something about her that makes you feel fine.

Yes there’s something about her that draws you right in,
It’s something seems pure and speaks of no sin;
It’s a charm that’s so easy that sends no alarm,
And you want to protect her and keep her from harm.

— —

Here’s to charisma.
May you load yourself with buckets of it.

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Charm

To Charm or Not to Charm

The thought of lining up a funeral home for your loved one is anything but charming.
This is one tough son of a gun to handle. But charm or not, it has to be done at some point.
So I steeled myself to make advance queries.
This is what I found.
Please don’t ask “what funeral home?”
Black rose -- Capture
Funeral Home No. One

I park on their lot, in the back, thinking this must be the front door.
It’s not. It’s the very large chapel.
Two guys talking. They look. I wait. Guy No. One walks over to me.
I say I want to inquire about services.
He says go to the office. He directs me and goes back to Guy No. Two.
No charm there.
I meander across the chapel floor, through the indicated door, turn the indicated direction…I find the office, facing the street. It’s kind of barren and kind of unwelcoming. I look around. I see a sign. It says an attendant will see you soon. I wait.
Eventual a young man dressed in funereal attire wanders in. I tell him I want to make future plans  for  the eventuality — hopefully far in the future — when the care home will have to call.
He says, you will have to make an appointment.
He hands me some literature to study and a form to fill out about, you know, my wife’s birth data,  middle name, something about her…statistics, etc.
I leave.
Not charmed.

Funeral Home No. Two

I park on their lot, at the side of the building. I walk across and find the front door, just around the corner. I look for a bell. I find none. I try the door. It opens for me. I walk in. I look around. It is much more comfortable than Funeral Home No. One’s, but still, I think, they could use a bit more personality, and definitely a tree or two, some pictures and paintings on what wall space they have. I ring the bell. Still, quite charming.
Almost immediately a tall, youngish woman comes in, smiles, and offers her had. I shake it. I can’t help it, I smile back. My gloomy mood lifts, a bit.
Come in to my office, she says, have a seat, would you like a coffee, a tea?
I say a coffee would go down a treat. She trots off to fetch a coffee.
Well, whaddya know? Here’s a little charm.Cup of coffee -- Capture
But I’m still heavy with foreboding and still smarting from my treatment at Funeral Home No. One. I’m deeply saddened at my wife’s situation and already grieving, so far in advance, just thinking of the eventual end, and feeling guilty that if I do this, I will be signing her off, discarding her.
The tall youngish lady arrives with the coffee. We exchange small talk. She’s obviously trying to ease the obvious tension she can obviously see in me. I can actually feel a little of that tension slip away.
Such warm, welcoming words, in this setting, on this occasion, I almost cry.
She asks how she can help.
I take deep breath. I tell her the situation. We talk, real talk. We even talk deal. She understands the situation. She understands my worry, and my financial state. She gives me good advice. SHE fills in the requisite initial form, the same kind of form I was given at Funeral Home No. One, which I took home and is still home.
I liked her. I liked her manner, her service, and the warm feeling she left with me when we shook hands as I – reluctantly – parted company with her.

Charm. A great asset for any business.

Red Rose -- Capture

 

 

 

 

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She’s Lost

She’s Lost

He Said, She Said – 4

She went a-wanderin’. She lost her way.
He found her and caught up to her.
She does not recognize him

He said, Hello. You look lost
She said No I’m Ann
He said Where are you going?
She said I forgot
He said Do you know where you are?
She said I’m in…Canada
He said Where’s that?
She said I don’t know
He said So you’re lost
She said No I’m Ann
He said Where do you want to go?
She said Home
He said Which way is that?
She said Mmmmmm—that way?
He said I don’t think so
She said Who are you?
He said I’m Herb
She said Who is that?
He said That’s me. Who are you?
She said Me
He said What’s your name?
She said Don’t be stupid
He said I’M not stupid
She said Hello then.
He said Hello. I’m so happy to meet you
She said Where are you going?
He said Anywhere you like
She said Where’s that?
He said How about home?
She said Where’s that?
He said Nearby. It’s this way
She said Okay
He said Where were you going?
She said Over there
He said So you were lost?
She said No I’m Ann

I should have known not to argue.
So I took her home, bless her.

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Lost and Found

Lost and Found

Fingers Touching

Fingers reaching out
One hand to another
They touch, they hold,
Forming a silent bond
Between two lost souls

Two little strangers
“Bound” to their chairs,
Parked beside each other
While their people talk.

Two little old ladies,
Wheelchair bound,
One a flower shop owner
One a sales girl while in life.

Now they’re  in a home,
Often alone,
Sitting in the garden,
Side by side,
Fingers touching,
Fingers  holding fast,
Smiling friendly smiles
Into each others’ eyes.
Wheelchair bound,
Comfort found.
Two little old ladies
Friendship bound…
Fingers touching…

Fingers Touching -- CaptureLife in a care home can be pretty boring at times. There are many residents and relatively few care givers. Probably no care home can keep every resident occupied all day and evening. Probably many residents don’t want that. It’s a hard balance.
But this is a little story about two little old ladies who found each other and made a very meaningful connection. It was very endearing to see it happen. The smiles and the warmth that emanated from these two as they gazed into each others’ eyes was positively inspiring.

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