The New Dresser

The new dresser, front view

A He Said, She Said episode

She said We need a new dresser
He said No we don’t
She said We do
He said But we just bought these two see-through plastic ones. That’s enough
She said No it’s not. Those things don’t hold all of our clothes
He said They’re enough
She said We need a regular dresser
He said And just how would we fit it into this little room?
She said Put the bed over there, move the makeup table, and put the dresser here–
He said Oh for Pete’s sakes

The next week they had to drive to Ambition City. As they drove along the lower road to curve back along the main street, she spotted a row of used furniture shops.

She said Stop! Stop!
He said Oh for Pete’s sakes

They browsed through three shops.

He muttered Every dresser is the right dresser, for Pe—
She said I’ll know it when I see it

In the fourth shop she made a bee line for a very large, very fancy blonde dresser.

She said This one. Let’s take this one
He said But, as I keep saying, how are we going to get it home? We don’t have a truck, and we don’t even know anybody with a truck any more
She said They’ll deliver it for us
He said Heck, that would cost more than the dresser
She said Oh come on, we need it
He said No, you come on, we’re late for our appointment
She said You’re such a curmudgeon

The two plastic sets of drawers, his point of view

The next week, she dragged him off to the thrift shop.

She said Come on, you need new trousers. These one are coming out at the knees
He said Yeah, but I have such beautiful knees

He found two pair of trousers that might fit. While he was in the fitting room, She browsed the furniture section. He heard her voice just as he had one leg into the first pair of possible trousers.

She said That’s it! That’s the one. Miss. Miss. How much is this one?
A Clerk said Fifteen dollars
She said Can you deliver it?
A Clerk said We have a volunteer who does deliveries
She said How much does he charge?
A clerk said One dollar a block
She said Done!

They both heard a lot of thumping and a crash, like a body had fallen down. Inside the fitting room, He struggled back to his feet and frantically fought to get his big toe out of the hole in the knee of his own pants and work his foot through the second leg of those knees-out pants.

Back home, He had to help the man carry the new dresser into the house and maneuver it into its allotted spot, under the window next to the two clear plastic sets of drawers opposite the bed in its new location.

He said How much?
She said You needn’t growl at the man, Hon
The man said Seventeen dollars

He gasped and glowered at Her.
She smiled sweetly.
The verbal exchange never took place. He sulked for days.

She filled the top drawer with some of her sweaters, a couple of slips, a worn-out bra, a few socks…She allotted the second drawer to Him. He filled it with underwear and socks, muttering and grumbling the “hole” time. She filled the third drawer with more sweaters, an old shirt or two, a vest, and an assorted collection of plastic bags filled with leftover British and Australian coins they couldn’t cash in. And the fourth drawer she filled with a variety of boxes filled with a variety of totally random, unsorted photographs.

She said There! That’s much better.

Silence.

She said WELL?
He muttered Okay, you were right
She said What did you say?
He said Oh, just that it’s a pity these scratches on the top are such a blight
She said Well you didn’t want the blonde dresser
He said We had no way to get it home
She said No, you were just being a curmudgeon
He said Anyway, I’ll bet Pete bought it
She said Pete?
He said Yeah, Pete. He always liked the fancy stuff…
She said Well it works anyway, doesn’t it?

The new dresser, top view showing scratches

He shrugged.

She said Well? Doesn’t it?
He said Well, maybe…
She said Aha! It does!
He said Okay, okay, it works. For Pete’s sakes
She said Like you always say, like pulling teeth
He said If you say so
She said I’m going to make some tea

She headed for the kitchen.

He said I shoulda known. Why didn’t I know? For Pete’s sakes.

— —

Photos by H. W. Bryce, with apologies for the scratchy quality